How do I make Thai food less hot?

Last night, I got some take-out Thai food from our local restaurant -- the dish was called "Drunken Noodle." It was WAY too hot and spicy for my tastes and even physically burns my tongue when I try eating it. Any ideas about what I might be able to add to the dish to calm down the spiciness? Otherwise, the whole plate will go to waste!

Considering that Thai food has 5 essential flavors: spicy (sambal chili), sour (lime) , sweet (i.e., sugar), salty (fish sauce or soy sauce if preferred) and bitter (i.e., sweet basil).

If you have these ingredients (minus the chilis), mix these ingredients together (you do not have to use all, but it works better) it would definitely tone down the heat without compromising the authentic Thai flavors.

But if not worth the purchasing the big 5, the usually way to "wash" off the spicy oils off the palate is to wash it away with another. Coconut milk is a good alternative, or if you could mix a little milk and peanut butter, to make a little sauce. These still have Thai flavors. Just be sure to mix all ingredients well.

However, if these ingredients are unattainable, you could always drizzle a little olive oil or creme, dollop of plain yogurt or sour cream, or squeeze some lemon.

Or then there's just braving the dish out, and treating your courageous self with a bowl of ice cream (preferably coconut) right after!

It's what you eat it with. The Mexicans use sopapillas which is a fried bun and eat them with honey. In India, they use yougurt. Beer is used many places. The trick is that there needs to be something to get those burning oils off your tongue and it will either have oil/fat (so you can't use skim milk or nonfat yogurt), starch and sugar, or alcohol. Every country with spicy food also has the remedy. Even their mouths need a break. If you like the flavor and just want to water it down, try using it as a topping on a baked potato. Potatoes are cheap and easy to nuke. Or nuke/steam your favorite frozen veggies and use the Thai food to make them more interesting. And you could freeze it in small batches to flavor the potatoes or veggies when it's convenient.

You could ask them to reduce the amount of chilli they put inside. Otherwise you could try taking out the water and putting new (hot) water back in. But I'm not sure about my second one!

add more noodles.

although that kinda of defeats the purpose of getting take-out food.

sour cream is the cure to all spicy food! Also, if sour cream doesn't really suit the dish try lime juice or sweetened coconut. Anything sweet, dairy, or citrus will calm down the heat.

The way I do it when I cook is add some more sugar. But it does not reduce much of the spiciness. Fish sauce can also help.

The thing is adding water to the food will ruin the taste. I think there is no good means to reduce spiciness without ruining the dish.

Stop being such a *****, that might help.